


Love is a beautiful kind of fear

by ShipperCookie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A little bit of angst to spice things up, Background Relationships, Because drinking age in japan is 20, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Consensual Underage Sex, Dorks in Love, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Shenanigans, Eventual Smut, Everybody is Bad at Feelings, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Getting Together, Gym 3 group chat, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Happy Ending, Honestly such boyfriend material, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Kind of college AU i dont really know, Kuroo and Tsukki go to the same college, Kuroo is a good boy, Kuroo too but he kepts it cool, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Minor Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pining, Porn with Feelings, Slice of Life, Specially Tsukki, Texting, Third Gym (Haikyuu!!), Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Tsuki doesn't know what he's doing, Tsukki has a crush on Kuroo from day one, Tsukkis POV, Tsukkis roomate is done with this shit, Underage Drinking, Yamaguchi Tadashi is a Good Friend, bad timming, college volleyball, more or less, slight drunk sex, until he doesnt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:13:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27797503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipperCookie/pseuds/ShipperCookie
Summary: All the instances that brough them together spread over the course of ten years of their relationship.Or, how the hell did Tsukki and Kuroo get together? And, at the same time, why took them so long?
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 1
Kudos: 31





	Love is a beautiful kind of fear

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!  
> First of all, english is not my first language so please forgive me for any spelling or grammar mistakes I might have. This is also the first time I writte in english, so lets see how it goes.
> 
> Some notes:  
> Everything between "quotation marks" is a dialogue.  
> If somethin is "/in italics/ and between quotation marks" is a quote.  
> If it's only /in italics/ is a thought.

**April 23th, 2012.**

Tsukki didn’t take his headphones off until they got into Nekoma’s locker rooms. He had spent three days locked in the same space as the dumbasses on his team, and if he ever heard the shrimpy yelling for whatever bullshit reason again he was going to commit homicide. Maybe even multiple homicide, if he felt like it. Train, eat, train, eat, sleep. Train, put up with people, eat, put up with people, train, jump of a bridge… His social batteries where completely drained, and he still had a whole day ahead. _At least while we’re playing, they won’t be such a pain in the ass._

It had only been a month since they started High School, and even less since Yamaguchi, Dumb, Dumber, and himself had joined the club. Everyone was beyond excited for the practice game, but Tsukki couldn’t care less. _They’re gonna wipe the floor with us_ , he thought. He hadn’t said that out loud. Well, maybe be had, but everyone had chosen to ignore him in one way or another. He didn’t care about winning or losing, but what he hated was getting false hopes. This was supposed to be one of the good teams from Tokyo, and they already had a hard time winning against Seijoh in Sendai. And Seijoh almost turned the tables on them with their star setter. He couldn’t figure out how they were supposed to beat a proper team when Azumane and Nishinoya had barely returned a week ago. Whatever, he didn’t care. _This is just a club._

As much as he pissed him of and as much as he was going to deny it if anyone asked: he smiled when Hinata scored the first point. Nekoma’s players didn’t even have time to react, and a small satisfied smirk pooped up on his lips. It was pleasing to see someone else’s desperation against the King’s and the Shrimpy’s freaky quick.

Even if they started well, it didn’t take long for Nekoma to get used to them. He frowned when he saw their number 7 marking Hinata and being able to touch his quicks. Something inside him wanted to rejoice in their disgrace with a _fuck you King of the court, you’re not as good as you think you are_ , but at the moment of truth it still pissed him off. _Don’t get all fired up, it’s just a practice match._

Tsukki feinted and scored a point. He didn’t let the satisfaction reach his lips, keeping the calm and neutral expression that characterized him, but he grinned internally when the ball went above their defence. He didn’t miss the glance of their setter and frowned an eyebrow. He could see the intelligence in his eyes in the same way he could see bouncing balls though Kageyama’s orbes. Nekoma’s setter wasn’t a dumbass like their own. That was why he followed his gaze when he looked right, and it was late to react when he set the ball on the opposite direction. _Fuck._ He growled softly, pinching his nose. He couldn’t care less if someone was more athletic or skilled than him, but it really pissed him off to be outsmarted. _Whatever._

They rotated and he looked up to whoever was in front of him. He had seen Nekoma’s captain from a far and the only thing that he noticed about him was his ridiculous bedhead. He was tall. Probably Nekoma’s tallest player, but Tsukki still though he was a bit taller. He was also muscular, maybe not as much as Azumane, but definitely wider than him. And, even if both things could be considered intimidating, Tsukki was absolutely calm until he looked him in the eyes. Eyes as gold as thick honey returned his glance. Tsukki gulped. Mister bedheads was looking right through him, as if he could see deep in his soul. He frowned and the piece off shit that was in front of him grinned. More than a grin, it was a defiant smile. He scored the two points in a row and Tsukki couldn’t even touch them. _Fuck my life_.

Obviously: they lost the game. And the next one. And the one after that as well. And they would have lost another one if coach Ukai hadn’t dragged Hinata away. Tsukki couldn’t understand how he could keep going at that point. He himself was exhausted, with his chest tired of trying to keep up with his breath and his legs trembling at every step. They only had to pick everything up and he could finally go home.

“The fuck are this two talking about?” he whispered to himself, glancing at Hinata and Nekoma’s number 7.

He must have said that louder than he thought, cause someone answered.

“They look like middle schoolers…” Nekoma’s captain said, whit a deep voice that reached Tsukki’s bones “But you could get a little bit more excited, even in a High School style” he added, with a cunning smile.

“I don’t usually get exited” Tsukki answered casually, even if his heart started beating little faster.

“Oh, the youth”

His words followed Tsukki as he turned his back on him and couldn’t resist to reply.

“What are you, 87?”.

☾

**July 3rd, 2012.**

By the time afternoon games were over, Tsukki was already feeling exhausted for the rest of the week. And it only was the first day of training camp. When the coaches left for dinner, many players followed them too. It wasn’t a surprise when practically all of Karasuno’s decided to stay for free practice. Its was to be expected from Kageyama and Hinata, but the rest of the team seemed to be infected with their annoyingly endless motivation. Yamaguchi was also staying to practice serves with Narita, but it didn’t come as a surprise for Tsukki cause he knew how hard he was working on his floating serve. When he excused himself and left the gym no one seemed to be surprised and, maybe, it would had bothered him if he cared more about the club. _It’s just a club._

“Hey you! From Karasuno! Glasses!” Someone shouted from a far and, much to his despair, he recognized the voice instantly. “Can you block with us for a while?”

He looked back, but he didn’t need to see him to know he was Nekoma’s captain. Kuroo. Right by his said and with an equally nonsensical hairstyle was Fukurōdani’s captain. Both of them looked at him expectantly bellow the door of gym 3.

“I was already leaving” Tsukki claimed, playing dumb “. Pardon me” he added, bowing a bit.

He wasn’t staying extra time to train with his own team, he was definitely not staying with anyone else. He was about to leave when their whining caught his attention back.

“It’s not fun to spike without blockers!” Fukurōdani’s captain complained “Come on!” he insisted. Tsukki already thought about it during their games, but now it was ever clearer that he had the exacts same energy as Hinata. _Not another one, please._

“And why it has to be me?” he started, defensively “Why not someone from Fukurōdani, or…?”

Another voice intervined.

“Bokuto-san never stops practicing, so everyone runs away rather quickly” another boy said, approaching them from the back of the gym.

Tsukki recognized him as Fukurōdani’s setter.

“And I’m busy getting this one in shape” Kuroo added, pointing at Nekoma’s newbie: the half Russian guy.

“I already said I could block!” he whined, while laying in the floor.

Kuroo barked at him.

“Shut up! If you wanna be a starting player in Nekoma you have to be able to receive” he yelled.

Tsukki was looking at the scene with disinterest, waiting for a chance to leave politely. But they didn’t seem to take no for an answer.

“It may not look like it” Kuroo started, pointing at Bokuto “, but this guy is one of the Top 5 spikers in the country, it will help you a lot training with him.”

Tsukki couldn’t resist.

“So, he wasn’t able to make it to the Top 3?” he teased, with a smirk on his face.

Kuroo smiled, clapping his friends back.

“Don’t worry” he said, tauntingly.

Fukurōdani’s captain was pale as a ghost, and he growled at Kuroo.

“Don’t make me a compliment if you’re gonna mock me next!”

Kuroo laughed between his teeth, but a second after he turned back to Tsukki, with a mischievous grin on his face.

“Also, if you’re a middle blocker you should practice your blocks”

He didn’t use a condescending tone, but Tsukki knew how to recognize a sneer when he heard one. He wasn’t cocky nor prideful, and even less when it came to a club he couldn’t care less about, so in any other circumstances he would have just ignored the provocation. But, for whatever reason, he didn’t let it go. He barely registered when his feet started moving towards the gym.

One. Two. Three. Four. He lost count of how many spikes Bokuto managed to score him. It was easier to keep track of how many he managed to block, because the count ascended to a grand total of zero. He had teased him about not making it to the Top 3, but the skill difference between them was crystal clear. Between them and any other spiker Tsukishima had faced up to that point. Bokuto was as strong as Azumane (maybe even stronger), nearly as quick as Hinata, and his ball control could even cast a shadow on Kageyama’s. He was good, very good, that was clear. But his talent was polished and even without knowing him Tsukki could see how he had developed that wild skill trough years of hard work. That made losing to him less frustrating than to Hinata or Kageyama.

“You only beat one blocker” Akaashi reminded him, when he was starting to get over excited, and Tsukki smiled through his fatigue.

He liked Akaashi.

“Then, what about two?”

Kuroo joined them, leaving behind what looked like Lev’s corpse. If it wasn’t for the occasional whimper, Tsukki couldn’t have told if he was still breathing. Kuroo, on the other hand, looked as fresh as could be. Tsukki was personally offended by it, at least he could look a little tired.

“C’mon.”

Bokuto was expectant and Tsukki went back to his position.

“Glasses, make sure to control the straight spike.”

Tsukki hissed, but he didn’t have time to talk back before Bokuto’s spike. As many times before, he spiked across the court to avoid the block, but Kuroo moved his hand just in time to stop it. The ball crashed hardly against the floor. On the other side of the net. Tsukki frowned a little bit at the insultingly easy way Kuroo’s had blocked him. But he couldn’t deny being a little impressed.

Bokuto complained as well, panting, but he came back at Tsukki next.

“Glasses, you’re good at reading attacks, but your blocks are so weak” he asserted, without a second thought.

 _What the actual fuck?_ Tsukki used to have a lot of control over his reactions but that time even he wasn’t able to contain a grin of absolute disbelieve.

“Your arms are so weak I’m afraid of breaking them, you should block with passion!” he claimed.

It took Tsukki a few seconds to rebuild his facade, buts as soon as his walls were back up, he smiled with an innocence he knew would fool everyone.

“I’m young and I’m still growing up” he started, downplaying it “. My strength and stature will only keep growing” he finished, shrugging his shoulders.

He said it casually, with a soft laugh. Bokuto frowned but Kuroo was the one who talked.

“If you keep talking like that, the shrimp is gonna take all the credit. You guys have the same position, right?”

Tsukki swallowed.

“I can’t do anything about it. There’s so much talent disparity between us.”

He said it just like that, as if it didn’t matter to him in the slightest. And he didn’t care, not at all. Why would he care if Hinata was better than him? Volleyball was just a hobby for him, something he did to take his mind out of school. _It is just a club._

Bokuto was looking at him whit his eyebrows frowned, but he didn’t say a word. Behind him Akaashi was also looking at Tsukki, with an unreadable expression. Kuroo was looking down, and his face was almost as impenetrable as Akaashi’s. In that exact moment a bunch of Nekoma players busted into the gym, speaking as loudly as they could and giving Tsukki an opportunity to fade into the background. He took the opportunity to run away. To leave. He wasn’t running away; he was just leaving.

“Well, seems like I’m hindering, so I’ll just leave” he said, and turned around before even finishing his sentence. This time he was not going back.

“Wait.”

Kuroo called him, but Tsukki didn’t look back, leaving the gym 3 behind. He started overthinking as soon as he left. He didn’t have to stay. He didn’t want to stay. Loosing to Hinata was inevitable. Hinata was more talented than him. He didn’t care. _It’s just a club._

Nekoma had taken over the court, but his captain was still looking at the door.

“Seems like you pissed him off, Kuroo-san” Akaashi pointed out, softly.

Kuroo nodded slowly.

“He seemed upset. You went to far, provocation expert” Bokuto added, jokingly.

It wasn’t a joke, and Kuroo knew it. He liked teasing. Steeping on the line, testing how far he could go. He didn’t mean to push Tsukki off a cliff and, judging by the look on his face when he mentioned Shrimpy, that was exactly what he had done. Tsukishima could say that he didn’t care as many times as he wanted, but Kuroo wouldn’t believe any of them.

“Well, I hadn’t thought about it that way” he started, mostly to himself.

“What?” Bokuto asked.

“Karasuno’s little Shrimpy is threatening and weird, but he’s still green when it comes to technique and experience. And he at his level. Thinking that glasses, who is taller and also smarter, not only thinks that they’re not equals, but that he doesn’t stand a chance…”

He didn’t even need to finish. It was just sad.

☾

**July 4th, 2012.**

“¡You’re just pathetic!”

Yamaguchi’s words hit him right on the chest. They hit him like a hammer, threatening to break the walls that took him so long to lift. Tsukki took a step back, buck Yamaguchi kept yelling at him. Never, not once, in all the years they’ve known each other had he seen him like that. Furious. Disappointed. Willing to stand up to him.

“Why do you suddenly decide it’s impossible and stop trying?!”

Pain made him realize he had been clenching his yaw for a while.

“Even if I work really hard and I’m the best at Karasuno, then what?” he barked “Even if there’s a remote chance to make it to nationals, what do I do next? It doesn’t matter how far you get, there’s always going to be someone better. Even if you can show results somewhere, you’ll never be number one! You’re gonna lose anyways! And if everyone knows this, why do they keep trying?!” he let it all go and, when it was over, he was breathless.

Tsukki wasn’t ready for what came next, when Yamaguchi cut the distance between then and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

“What else do you need besides your pride?” he yelled.

Tsukki felt a lump in his throat and a bated heart. Yamaguchi was grabbing him harshly, but he could still see his hands trembling with rage. He was trembling too, but for other reasons. A few seconds went by in silence and, when the adrenaline rush started to fade, Yamaguchi pulled away in shock. He just seemed to realise what he had done. Tsukki smiled, bittersweet.

“I didn’t think this day would come” he started. It wasn’t a playful smile, but a prideful one. “Since when are you so cool? That was badass.”

Yamaguchi had always avoided confrontation, and, in the very beginning, that was what brought them together. He hid behind Tsukki’s shadow because no one dared to mess with him. Yamaguchi felt safe by his side and Tsukki wasn’t bothered by him, so they had gotten along just fine. Their friendship started like that and, ever since, Yamaguchi had never told him off. They never had a fight. He'd never stood up to him. So, seeing him right now, so passionate about something he was willing to shout to his face how pathetic he was, made Tsukki feel proud as fuck. Because, even if he had never told him so, he had always known that Yamaguchi was worth way more than what anyone gave him credit for. That he was as brave as anyone can be and, definitively, he was way braver than him. He just proved that.

“I need to ask something” he said, leaving a very confused Yamaguchi behind.

Tsukki had come to that realization years ago: it wasn’t worth it. It was not worth obsessing over it. Not worth all the sweat, blood and tears. It wasn’t worth giving all you’ve got if you’re still going to lose. _It’s just a club_. He had said that to himself a thousand times and, in the end, he ended up believing it. But if it was just a club… Why was he still playing? Why didn’t he just quit? Tsukki was an expert when it came to ignore and burry the tough questions, he didn’t feel ready to answer, in a dark corner of his mind behind a wall of excuses. If he didn’t care about it, why did he kept playing?

He stood in front of gym 3.

“¿Oya?”

“Oya oya?”

“Oya oya oya?”

Akaashi, Bokuto and Kuroo, in that order. The three of the turned around to look at him as soon as he reached the door.

“I’d like to ask you something, can I?” he said.

“Sure”.

Bokuto y Kuroo answered at the same time. And Tsukki said it out loud: they went to the best schools and yet they barely had any chances at nationals. Why were they putting so much effort into it? Why work that hard just for a club? For something they barely could write down on their resumes. Was worth all that sacrifice? Even if it was helpless?

“Hey, glasses…”

Bokuto was the first one to talk.

“My name is Tsukishima.”

“Tsukishima-kun, do you have fun playing volleyball?”

Tsukki frowned his nose, thoughtful.

“Not really.”

Bokuto’s lips twisted in a satisfied smile.

“Probably because you’re bad at it” he said.

Tsukki blinked a couple of times. That piece of shit…

“I’m a third year, I’ve played on nationals, and I’m way better than you.”

“You don’t need to remind me” Tsukki said back.

“But I barely started having fun” Bokuto recognized, and Tsukki raised an eyebrow.

Kuroo and Akaashi shared a knowing look. He told him about his spike, about how he trained for months to get it right and the satisfaction he felt when not a single blocker was able to stop it.

“Everything comes to that moment. It doesn’t matter what happens in the future or if you win the next game. The satisfaction of beating the guy in front of you and giving your 120% it’s all that matters.”

Tsukki felt paralyzed, unable to move. He’d always made fun of motivational speeches like “ _try hard and great things will come your way_ ”, but for whatever reason what Bokuto was saying made sense to him. Or maybe was the absolute confidence he was speaking with. The sheer passion in his voice. Tsukki couldn’t look away.

“If you experience that moment, that’s when you’ll get hooked on volleyball.”

Tsukishima was cynical, but Bokuto’s energy was infectious. He hadn’t still made up his mind, but they didn’t give him much time to reflect on it.

“Well, I’ve already answered your question” Bokuto said, pushing him towards the court.

“Now block with us” Kuroo added, throwing an arm around Tsukki’s shoulders.

They didn’t give him any choice, but neither did Tsukki make any effort to leave. He may not be ready to face everything he had on his mind yet, but Yamaguchi had managed to open a crack on his shell, and Kuroo and Bokuto took the oportunity to sneak inside. For once, he just let it be.

☾

“Not like that, look…” Kuroo grabbed his wrists, making Tsukki niggle in annoyance, but the older one pretended not to hear it. “Put your arms forward, like this” he said, guiding him with his own hands.

“I know” Tsukki replied, a little too anxious.

They had been training for a while and Kuroo already seemed to have enough with the theorical explanations. He had always been polite and patient at all times, there was no trace of condescension nor superiority on his tone and Tsukki knew that he was genuinely trying to help, but… He didn’t like physical contact. He had never been prone to it and he didn’t like Kuroo holding his hands every now and then. He was getting nervous. He didn’t like physical contact, that was it.

Bokuto spiked again and the ball hit Tsukki’s fingertips, pushing his hand back in the process. He groaned in pain.

“You see what I’m telling you? You’re not putting your hands correctly” Kuroo insisted, holding Tsukishima’s hand between his own.

Tsukki fought the need to pull away. Kuroo was standing in front of him, with Tsukki’s hand between his own, carefully bending his fingers into a perfect position. Tsukki couldn’t focus on anything but the rough touch of Kuroo’s callouses against his skin.

“See? Like this.”

“I get it” Tsukki replied, withdrawing his hand more brusquely that he intended. He hadn’t gotten anything.

Kuroo rolled his eyes and turned around.

“¿Another one?” he asked.

Bokuto had walked away from the net and was whispering something to Akaashi’s ear. The other boy smiled softly, and his cheeks were blushed. Tsukki thought he might be tired from setting the ball over and over again.

“We can call it a night” Kuroo suggested then.

Tsukki raised an eyebrow, with his eyes set on the back of Kuroo’s head. He didn’t seem to be willing to stop a few moments ago. A few silent seconds went by and Tsukki felt as if a mute conversation was taking place in front of him. Bokuto smiled openly.

“Yeah, we can leave it for tonight”.

Tsukki frowned even more. Bokuto was already tired of spiking? Akaashi was longing at him, with a tinny smile parting fom his lips. One of his hands was resting on Bokuto’s back.

“We’re gonna have dinner, we’ll let you tidy up everything” Kuroo said.

Tsukki looked at him, confused. He could tell from his words that by “we” he meant them both, but he didn’t understand why they weren’t staying to pick everything up as well. There wasn’t much to do, anyways. Maybe they had already spoken about it, so he didn’t say a thing and followed Kuroo out of the gym. There was something going on, even if Tsukki couldn’t exactly tell what it was.

“Wait, I forgot my kneecaps” he said, stopping short.

Kuroo stopped too, looking startled, but he soon smiled.

“You can pick them up later” he said, but Tsukki was already turning around.

“I rather pick them know.”

They were still near gym 3, it wouldn’t take him long to get back. Just a few more strides. He slammed the door open. He had left them on the right side, so he turned there as soon as he got in and oh! He didn’t see that coming. Bokuto and Akaashi were laying against the wall. More precisely, Akaashi was laying against the wall and Bokuto was laying against him. He had his arms wrapped around Akaashi’s waist, while he had his own buried deep in Bokuto’s hair. And they were making out. Hard. They separated abruptly as soon as they heard the door, but Tsukishima knew what he had just witnessed. Bokuto’s face was bright red and Akaashi looked pale as a ghost.

“And here are your kneepads! We were just leaving, bye!”

Kuroo was the one who picked up his kneecaps from the floor, cause Tsukki was just standing there not knowing what to do. He grabbed him from the back of his t-shirt to pull him out of the gym. It was the noise of the door slamming shut what snapped him out of his trance.

“Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san…?” he blurted out, but he left if halfway through, not knowing what to say.

He didn’t know what he wanted to ask. Were they together? Well, it was obvious now. Were they gay? There was no heterosexual explanation for what Tsukki had just witnessed. He stayed silent for a few seconds, his mouth ajar, and Kuroo frowned.

“You’ve got a problem?” he asked, with a seriousness in his voice that Tsukki hadn't yet heard from him. “If they want to keep it a secret, it's their business and nobody else's" he added and Tsukki felt the threatening tone in his words.

Tsukki stared at him, still unable to react. His brain was going a hundred kilometers per hour and his lips were not able to order any of the thoughts that crossed his mind in the form of a coherent sentence. Kuroo mustn’t like his silence, as he frowned even more and moved closer to him. Tsukki recoiled out of inertia. He was a few centimeters taller than him, but Kuroo's presence was much more imposing than his own.

“Do you have a problem?” he insisted, slowly.

The calmness of his voice wasn’t tranquilizing at all. Tsukki felt a shiver down his spine. He frowned too.

“Why do you care?” he said back, defensive.

His body finally reacted, walking towards the main building but Kuroo grabbed his arm, preventing him from moving forward and forcing him to turn around. He didn't let go of him when he spoke again.

“If you have a problem with them you also have a problem with me.”

Tsukki looked at him. Kuroo had a firm grip on his wrist, and his eyes were fixed on him. There was something dark about Kuroo's golden eyes that made him wince. A warning. He was protecting his friends, but Tsukki saw beyond that.

“Wait, ¿you…? ¿Are you…?” Tsukki started, and he blushed halfway through the sentence.

“Gay?” Kuroo finished for him and released his wrist to cross his arms over his chest. " No. I'm bi, is there a problem with that? " He came back to the same thing, his gaze fixed on Tsukki, attentive to his reactions.

It took him a few seconds process that.

“No” he began, hesitant “. ¡No! Of course not. It’s just, dunno…” he muttered “I didn’t’ expect it. You…” Tsukki pointed at him “I mean, you know… You’re… I don’t know…”

Tsukki felt stupid and didn't know what he wanted to say. That Kuroo was what? Very tall? Strong? Manly? Was that the word he was looking for? Shame stained his cheeks crimson. Why did he felt the need to explain himself? He didn't want Kuroo to think he was a fucking bigot. He wasn't a fucking bigot.

Luckily, it seemed like Kuroo was able to see right through him.

“You know that being gay, or bi, or straight, doesn’t make you more or less masculine, right?” he said, with a smirk on his face.

Tsukki felt himself blushing even more, but this time from another kind of embarrassment.

"And that not being masculine isn't bad either?" he added, keeping the smile.

"I know" Tsukki replied, frustrated. “That was not what I meant. I just… I’ve never met anyone my age who was gay. Or bisexual, I mean. "

Kuroo’s smile got ever wider. Tsukki could feel him relaxing, bouncing his weight from on leg to the other. Suddenly, he didn’t look as intimidating as before. _How the hell did he do that?_

“I assure you that you do, them being out of the closet is another thing” he said, and his voice sounded softer than before.

Tsukki didn't know when they had started walking again, calmly. They walked in silence and although Kuroo seemed calm, Tsukki couldn't ignore the discomfort that was pressing on his stomach.

"Things must be very different in Tokyo" he commented.

He didn't need to add more for Kuroo to know what he meant.

"It's a huge city so there are lots of different people," he began, shrugging. “But not everyone is open minded. Coming out is always a bit shitty, whether you live in the capital or in small town like Miyagi” he added, glancing at Tsukki.

Tsukki felt again the heat of the blush rushing to his cheeks.

"I’m not..." he began, willing to deny whatever Kuroo was implying.

But he looked up at him and when his eyes met Kuroo's he saw that the boy wasn't looking at him with any mockery. His expression was kind and his feline gaze exuded compassion. Not pity, compassion. Tsukki looked down at the ground and remembered when he was ten years old and Yamaguchi kissed him goodbye on the cheek when Tsukki was about to go away for a few weeks in the summer. His heart skipped a beat and, putting it into perspective now, he knew it hadn't been because of the affection he had for him as a friend.

"Well ..." he started. “I don't know if I like one thing or the other” he acknowledged, in a low voice.

He knew he was not in love with Yamaguchi anymore, but he also knew that if he were to say that he had never ever felt anything other than a platonic friendship for him: he would be lying. Sometimes he had had the urge to be very close to and spend lots of time with his best friend, that happened to everyone, right? Hmm… No, maybe not. Was it weird that he noticed how toned Daichi's thighs were? Or that the first thing he thought upon seeing Akaashi was how symmetrical and beautiful his features were? Was it weird that he felt a chill every time Kuroo touched his arm?

  
It was not the first time he wondered if maybe he was not completely straight. But, as with all things that required a lot of introspection, Tsukishima had pushed that thought to the back of his mind with the rest of the awkward questions he didn't feel like answering just yet. Kuroo stood still in the hall, when they were already reaching the cafeteria. Tsukki followed suit.

"You know that you don’t need to know right now, do you?" he began, smiling softly “You don't need to have an answer, and even if you did, you don't have to come out if you don't want to. You don't owe anyone an explanation. " Tsukki nodded without a word, and Kuroo nodded as well.

Tsukki had never needed validation from someone else to feel good about himself, but still Kuroo's words left a warm feeling in his chest.

☾

  
They ate in silence. There were only a few Shinzen and Ubugawa players in the cafeteria, chatting alongside their already empty plates. Tsukki didn't usually have much of an appetite, but tonight he could barely get anything in. He was too busy undoing the knot on his stomah.

"If you don't eat well tomorrow you won't be able to bear your soul" Kuroo voiced.

"I have no appetite" Tsukki replied and got up to walk away.

"Well, I'm done anyways" Kuroo said, and stood up behind him.

The two of them left the cafeteria in silence, walking down the hall. It was practically dark, with the light emanating from the cafeteria illuminating the hallway that lead to the showers and the classrooms in which they slept, with the only company of the crescent moon shining in the sky through the windows.

"I have the feeling you want to say something."

It was Kuroo who broke the silence, stopping by some stairs, when they were almost reaching the bedrooms. Tsukki looked down at the floor thoughtfully.

“How did you know?” he asked, finally, looking back at Kuroo.

Kuroo smiled and pointed at the stairs with his head. Tsukki followed him up to the top floor as he sat down on one of the steps around the corner. Tsukki sat next to him, leaning his back against the wall.

Kuroo took a moment to think and then sighed.

“When I was ten, I had a crush on both Sakura and Syaoran Li” he confessed, with a tinny smile.

“You watched Card Captor Sakura?”

“Of course I did watch Card Captor Sakura, ¿you didn’t?” he scoffed.

Tsukki chuckled softly.

“What? You didn’t have anime crushes growing up?”

“I don’t know” Tsukki replied. Maybe he had, but he was too embarrassed to admit it out loud.

“Oh boy, I had so many.”

Kuroo didn't seem to find it awkward at all, and Tsukki was curious.

“Who?”

Nekoma’s captain didn’t even need a momento to think it through.

“The princess Mononoke. Haku from Spirited Away. Rika from Digimon Tamers… Renamon.”

“¿Renamon?” Tsukki echoed, forgeting everything that went before.

In the dim light Tsukki couldn't tell for sure, but he would swear Kuroo blushed a little.

“Don’t look at me like that, it’s an anthropomorphic nonbinary sexy Digimon that kicks ass.”

Tsukki managed a sly smile.

“It’s a Digimon, point blank” he replied “. Does that count as furry?” he wondered, glancing at Kuroo with a raised eyebrow “ That’s so kinky, Kuroo-san.”

The upper floor was completely dark, and the only light came from the window in front of them, which bathed Kuroo's face in the faint silver shine of the moon. This time Tsukki could see how he was blushing, and the blush rose to the tips of his ears.

"I thought this was a judgment-free zone Tsukki, I'm not judging you" he defended himself.

The blonde's smile grew even wider and he decided to ignore the nickname he had called him by.

"Okay, okay, your secret is safe with me," he sneered, and Kuroo shook his head, laughing.

“Sesshomaru, too…” he added.

“It’s me or you have a thing for mean and mysterious characters?” Tsukki asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kuroo turned to look at him, mirroring the gesture.

“I guess I have a type” he said, grinning, and winked at him.

☾

**July 5th, 2012.**

The next morning, during breakfast, Tsukki couldn't take his eyes off Nekoma's captain. The night before, he had winked at him. A friendly wink. Maybe more than friendly. Tsukki hadn't been able to stop thinking about it since then and he still hadn’t made up his mind about it. It was a joke, right? Of course, it was a joke. There was no way it wasn't a joke. Or, well, Kuroo had said he was bi, did that imply that he could be interested in him? Okay well, technically, yes, but there was no way Kuroo would have any interest on him. Cause he was in third year, he was tall, handsome, charismatic and he played in another league (volleyball and life in general). There was no way he had any interest, honestly. It had been a joke.

Anyways, Tsukki didn’t care. He didn’t care because he wasn’t interested in Kuroo anyways. No, not at all. Not in the slightest. They have had a nice chat and Tsukki was grateful that he felt like sharing all those personal details with him. It had been a nice moment and, somehow, the connected. As friends. Acquaitances. People who played volleyball. Tsukki wasn’t interested in anything beyond that. _Not at all._

Kuroo looked up from his plate for a moment and his gaze met Tsukki's. He pulled a tinny smile, but went immediately back to the conversation he was having with his libero. Tsukki looked down at his breakfast, trying to contain the blush that threatened to give him away.

“What’s up Tsukki?” Yamaguchi wondered by his side.

Tsukki raised a cup of tea to hip lips, to avoid answering. But the tea was going to run out eventually.

"Nothing" he lied, shrugging his shoulders with pretended indifference.

Mentally, he prayed Yamaguchi hadn't noticed. Noticed what? Maybe that he had been staring at Nekoma’s captain for ten minutes, for example.

"You’re making friends, right?" Yamaguchi asked and Tsukki didn't want to think if there was something else behind his words.

“With whom?” he begun, trying to sound distracted “Oh, ¿Kuroo-san? Kuroo-san, Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san are helping me with my blocks… They’re cool” he added, shrugging his shoulders as he tried to look as careless as he could.

“Oh, I see…” Yamaguchi said, and this time Tsukki couldn't ignore the hint of his voice. He didn't know what he meant exactly, but he didn't like it. "That’s new, coming from you” he teased, focusing back on his food, and Tsukki let him have the last word because he knew he shouldn't get into a war he couldn't win.

☾

  
Tsukki was slightly concerned thinking that the situation might get awkward between Bokuto, Akaashi, and him, after what had happened the night before, but it was rather the opposite. It was Bokuto who approached him with a candid smile, when practice was over, and asked him if he wanted to join them for a few blocks. Tsukki accepted with a slight nod and the surprised gestures of his teammates were not overlooked. As he gathered up his things, he saw out of the corner of his eye how Tanaka whispered something to Yamaguchi's ear, and the boy simply shrugged. He also caught the knowing look Daichi and Sugawara exchanged, but he pretended he didn’t see it. Popularity had never mattered to him, nor was something he was looking for, but he couldn't deny the slight satisfaction that came with it. Especially while feeling Kageyama's jelous gaze fixed on the back of his neck.

Bokuto and Akaashi were waiting for him by the door, while Kuroo was already on gym 3, crouching by the entrance as he fastened the laces of his shoes. Tsukki couldn't help but to look down as he passed by, but instantly looked away as soon as he realized where was he looking. He felt a slight blush begin to stain his cheeks. Why the fuck was he staring at Kuroo's ass? Luckily for him, Bokuto was all the distraction he needed. He tried to push Kuroo, but he grabbed onto his shirt and the two ended up rolling on the floor as they struggled.

“What are you, five?” Tsukki asked, mockingly, while the other two laughed.

“You’re being generous” Akaashi replied, sounding tired, by Tsukishima’s side.

Tsukki turned slightly towards Akaashi.

“How do you put up with this every day?” he wondered, half joking half serious.

Akashi followed Bokuto with a glance, whom in those moments it had just hooked to Kuroo's leg like a koala.

“Sometimes I put my brain on standby” Akaashi replied, turning back to Tsukki with a small derisive smile on his lips. “But it has other things that make it worthwhile. "

Tsukki knew that the latter was totally serious, judging by Akaashi's tone, and he returned his smile. Kuroo must have told them part of their conversation from the night before, in order to Akaashi feeling comfortable enough to share that with him. Tsukki appreciated the trust. People didn't usually trust him with their feelings. Not out of fear that he was gonna tell somebody else, but mostly because of the disinterest that Tsukki openly showed towards everyone else's private life. He was not interested in gossip, but from there to not caring about the lives of his friends was a big stretch. He liked when Yamaguchi trusted him with his stuff, because he was his friend. And he wanted to think that he and Akaashi were becoming friends as well.

"Well, are we going to train or not?" It was Akaashi who spoke again, this time addressing the two captains.

“If you get your boyfriend to let me go, maybe we can.”

Kuroo was approaching the net as he said that, dragging Bokuto trough the court.

“Kōtarō”.

The way Bokuto tensed and jumped to his feet when Akaashi called him by his first name reminded Tsukki of the times his mother would yell _"Tsukishima Kei"_ from downstairs and he automatically knew he was in trouble.

They had been training for real for a little over fifteen minutes, when Bokuto turned towards the door.

"Hey Tsukki, did you bring a friend?" he asked, drawing the blond's attention.

"Uh?"

Tsukki turned towards the entrance, to find Hinata under the door frame. Kageyama was training on his own and Kenma had dumped him. Next to him appeared Nekoma’s rookie: Lev. Tsukki frowned a bit when they both said they wanted to train with them. He didn't feel like putting up with more intensity, already having enough with Bokuto. Clearly, that was what bothered him. And not that they were interrupting his new routine with people he liked and wanted to get to know better, because being jealous about that would be very childish and Tsukishima was not childish at all.

"Well, since we're enough we can play a 3x3."

It was Kuroo who made the teams, choosing Lev and Tsukki for his own and leaving Bokuto and Akaashi with Hinata. As Akaashi pointed out, they weren't very balanced in height, but the "owls" had the only setter, so they were more or less even. Not that Tsukki really cared. He did not care about the game, he did not care about Hinata and Lev, and the only thing he could think of was the fact that if they were busy playing Kuroo wouldn’t have time to hold his hands and teach him how to block properly. The only thing that satisfied him was Hinata's frustrated face when he blocked his spikes. It was something, at least.

  
They wrapped up the game when one of Fukurōdani’s managers let them know that the cafeteria was about to close. As expected, Hinata wanted to keep playing, but Kuroo told him that they would continue with the game the next day. Tsukki snorted to himself, disappointed, when he realized he wouldn’t get rid of the shrimp the next day either.

"Everything okay, Tsukki?" Kuroo asked, approaching his side as they walked towards the cafeteria.

"Hum? Yes, all good” he repied “. I was thinking about dinner” he added, trying to sound convincing.

Kuroo smiled.

"You must be starving, today you have hardly eaten anything."

Tsukki turned back to him.

"Are you keeping track of my meals, Kuroo-san?" he asked, with a grin.

In his smile he could see that Kuroo didn't feel cornered at all.

"Indeed, I can't teach you shit if you don't have any energy," he replied, with that half smile of his that Tsukki could see even in his dreams.

☾

They ate dinner quickly, and as the group started to get up, Bokuto glanced at Tsukki with a grin.

"Since yesterday you left us picking up ourselves, isn't it your’s and Kuroo’s turn to tidy up the gym tonight?" he asked, with a malicious smile.

Tsukki was about to jump up with something like _“last night you didn't seem to care that much”,_ but he stopped when Kuroo's hand rested on his shoulder.

"No problem, right Tsukki?" he said and Tsukki had nothing left to do but nod his head.

Actually, there wasn't much to tidy up. Kuroo was in charge of cleaning the boards and organizing the scoreboard, while Tsukki walked the court with the cart collecting volleyballs. Kuroo finished before him and began mopping, making sure that the court was dry and clean for the next day. Tsukki carried the cart with the balls to the storage room, and when he turned around, Kuroo was leaning against the door frame.

Tsukki was a little startled but he managed to conceal it gracefully.

“You done?” he asked, carelessly.

Kuroo straightened himself, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Are you eager to get rid of me, Tsukki?” wondered, looking at him like an abandoned puppy.

“Spending two hours locked up in a gym cleaning with you is not one of my ideals plans for the night, honestly.”

What a bluff. Tsukki kept his eyes on Kuroo’s, with feigned disinterest, although much to his dismay few things appealed to him more at that moment than spending two hours locked up in a gym with Kuroo. Anywhere, truly. But he wasn't about to admit that out loud.

"You’re breaking my heart" Kuroo pouted.

Tsukki rolled his eyes, grabbed another mop, and walked towards the door.

"It's not my fault it's so fragile," he said, walking past him to leave the storage room.

Kuroo stepped aside just enough to let him pass, but their shoulders brushed still.

"You’re so harsh on me, Tsukki."

Kuroo snorted and Tsukki smiled to himself.

"If you don't like it, there is the door" Tsukki replied, pointing at it as he began to mop where Kuroo had not yet passed.

"So mean."

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think yesterday we established that you like that.”

Sometimes his tongue went faster than his mind. And that was one of those times, because there was no way Tsukishima would have said that if he had thought about it for another two seconds. He was grateful he had his back to Kuroo because now he was as red as a tomato and there was no way of hiding it. Since the earth did not seem to be about to swallow him and end his suffering, he continued mopping.

"Yeah, I do" Kuroo replied, laughing, after what seemed like two hours for Tsukki.

He forced himself to keep breathing.

"And speaking of things we talked about the other day..." Oh lord. "I wanted to apologize if what I said about Shrimpy, Hinata, bothered you" he said and Tsukki looked up suddenly because that was the last thing he was expecting to hear. Or well, maybe not the last one, but definitely not the first one either.

"What?"

The question escaped his lips.

"What I said about him getting all the glory..." he began, scratching the back of his neck. He seemed genuinely embarrassed. “I was kidding, and it didn't occur to me that it could really bother you. I went too far, I'm sorry. "

Tsukki looked him in the eye, genuinely surprised. Not only because he had almost forgotten about that conversation, but mostly because he was not expecting him to apologize for something like that. He hadn't done it maliciously. And he hadn't said anything that wasn’t true either. Tsukki's face softened into an inevitable smile.

"It's okay," he said, sincerely, as his heart skipped a beat.

☾

**July 6th, 2012.**

Tsukki wiped the sweat from his face with a towel when they took a little break. His chest pounded with the racing of his heart and his palms burned. He clenched his fists and opened them again, noticing the reddened skin on the palm and the small wounds that marked the callouses yet to grow. He looked up when he heard Kuroo speak, sharing advice on how to block one to one.

The older one was facing them. His hair was a bit more matted than usual and it stuck to his forehead, where a few drops of sweat still trickled down his high cheeks. Tsukki made a titanic effort to focus on what he was saying.

"We are going to be rivals when we play, right?" he started, when Kuroo stopped talking "Then why are you helping us?"

His question was sincere.

“I’m always this kind” Kuroo replied, taking a hand to his heart in a theatrical manner.

Tsukki raised an eyebrow.

"Don't look at me like that!" he complained. He drew in a deep breath and his gaze softened for a moment. "I want us to have the _Battle of the_ _T_ _rash Heap_ ," he confessed. “It's what the coach wants more than anything, but who knows how long he can keep coaching us. So, we need you to keep winning” he said, and seemed to realize how sentimental was sounding. “Well, it also serves me as training, don't think so hard about it. Come on, let's go!" he finished, downplaying it.

“So cute.”

Tsukki's words left his mouth without permission, and he heard them almost delayed. He blinked a few times, unable to believe he said that out loud. Luckily, Bokuto must have thought he was joking and laughed loudly. Tsukki gave his best mocking smirk, trying to regain composure, but Kuroo just stared back at him with a raised eyebrow.

☾

He was exhausted. By his side Hinata was lying on his back on the floor, breathing heavily like a fish gasping out of water. Tsukki was sitting down, with his knees against his chest and his head between them. He had closed his eyes cause, at one point, he started to see little shinny dots glowing everywhere.

“Water?” He heard someone ask, through the buzzing noise inside of his head.

Tsukki opened his eyes, but he didn’t raise his head. He noticed a change in lighting as the one who had spoken knelt in front of him.

“Tsukki?”

This time he recognized Kuroo's voice and looked up. The boy had crouched in front of him, a towel slung around his neck and a bottle in hand. Tsukki had a hard time focusing his gaze.

“Are you feeling alright?” he asked, and Tsukki nodded. It must not have been very convincing, according to Kuroo's response.

"I'm going to take this one to get some fresh air before he faints," he announced, grabbing Tsukki by the arm to pull him up.

"I don't need…" he started, but as soon as he got up the gym got suddenly upside down and he was lucky that Kuroo was vigilant. Nekoma’s captain grabbed him from the waist as soon as he saw him stumble, pulling him closer to own body to support him.

“You don’t need…?” Kuroo repeated, sarcastic, right by his ear.

Tsukki snorted as response, but he let him walk him out of the gym. He moved slowly, with his gaze fixed on the horizon line, watching it slowly stabilized as the dizziness subsided. Kuroo's hand was still resting on his lower back, as if he was afraid that at any moment he would black out. Tsukki didn't think it was necessary, but he didn't complain either.

They walked away from the gym for a bit, walking pass one of the soccer fields where they used to set the tables for lunch, and Kuroo stopped when they reached the grass.

"Come on, sit down" he said, softly, and Tsukki complied.

“I’m fine, I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Tsukki, you’re pale even for your own standards.”

The blonde grunted, ducking his head back between his legs, as he heard Kuroo take a seat next to him. For a while, neither of them said anything. They sat in a silence broken only by the singing of the cicadas, but Kuroo didn't seem uncomfortable. Tsukki wasn’t a man of many words, and when he was alone with someone else (other than Tadashi) they used to feel the need to fill his silences with trivial conversations. And Tsukki didn't like small talk. He did not like holding on to dying conversations out of fear of being alone with his own thoughts. Tsukki was not afraid of silence. It seemed like Kuroo wasn't either.

It wasn't until Tsukki straighten up slightly, raising his head and leaning back, that Kuroo spoke.

“Feeling better?”

“I don’t think I’ll die in the next ten minutes, if that’s enough for you” Tsukki replied.

Kuroo grinned between his teeth.

“Well, I’ll try to make it fifteen.”

“Are you concerned about me, Kuroo-san?” Tsukki wondered, sneering.

Kuroo turned to look at him, with a tiny smile.

“Of course Tsukki, I’m not gonna let you die, you’re way to much fun.”

Tsukki seemed surprised.

“You think I’m fun?”

Kuroo’s smile widened.

“No one has ever told you, or what?”

“No, they don’t usually tell me that.”

“What do the usually tell you?”

Tsukki paused briefly and smiled.

“That I’m an asshole.”

Kuroo laughed again, louder. Tsukki frowned, still smiling.

“Now is when you tell me that I’m not.”

The last flickers of laughter got lost between Kuroo's lips, just as he looked up again and fixed his amber gaze on Tsukki.

“I would be lying, you’re such an asshole” he declared, without losing the smile.

This time was Tsukki the one who chuckled.

“Well, thank you man.” He shrugged.

Kuroo didn’t look away and Tsukki swore he saw his bottom lip shiver.

“It’s part of your charm.”

Kuroo hadn’t even finished that sentence and Tsukki was already blushing till the root of his hair.

“Pardon?” he asked, automatically, even if he had heard him perfectly.

Kuroo was smiling, but Tsukki was too busy staring at the ground to noticed

“You look also very cute when you’re blushing.”

That was it. Tsukki died. He was about to die. _What the hell is going on? Okay, calm down. THINK._

“Anything else you wanna tell me, Kuroo-san?” he wondered, finally looking back at him.

He wasn’t until that very moment that Tsukki realized how close they were. He still felt his face burning, but at that point it wasn’t worth trying to hide the effect Kuroo’s words had on him. The only thing left to do was to see the power his own wordscould have.

“What else do you want me to say, _Tsukki_?”

That time Kuroo savored his name like honey.

“Dunno, you seem to like me very much.”

Tsukki smiled with satisfaction when he saw Kuroo’s cheeks turn as red as his.

“Well, there’s one more thing I can say” Kuroo gulped “, can I kiss you?”

And Tsukki didn’t even bother to reply before kissing him.

He didn’t know what possessed him to do that, but there was something about Kuroo that was pulling him in like a magnet, and Tsukki finally let himself go. Their lips collided with more force than necessary, more teeth than patience, but Kuroo's mouth received him with the eagerness of someone who was already tired of waiting. His hand tangled in Tsukki's hair, pulling him closer and forcing him to turn his head a bit to find a more comfortable angle. Tsukki let him, lost on the kiss and his entire body trembled when Kuroo's tongue caressed his lips. It was messy, greedy and inexperienced. A wet kiss, intense and guided by the desire that was only felt on a first time. They barely parted to breathe and Kuroo smiled against his lips.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Tsukki growled, “Shut up”.

“Shut me up.”

“You’re embarrassing.”

“You seemed to like it a moment ago.”

Tsukki was about to reply, but Kuroo stole the words from his mouth with another kiss. He couldn't do much more than kiss him back because, as much as he liked having the final word, entangling his tongue with Kuroo's was something he liked even more. This time the kiss was slower, less frantic, and even deeper. Hi heart was beating so fast he was afraid it would leap out of his chest, and something moved in his stomach as Kuroo's lips trailed down his neck. He left out a soft moan.

Kuroo had the audacity to move away from Tsukki's skin to speak.

“What were we talking about?”

“About how annoying you are” he replied, as he removed his glasses and grabbed him from the collar of his shirt to pull him right back into the kiss.

Tsukki could taste the smirk on his lips and decided that now was his turn to set the pace. He pulled on his wrist to throw him off balance and pushed Kuroo with his own weight until he was lying on top of him on the grass. He seemed to want to complain, but Tsukki didn't give him a chance, determined to keep his lips busy until he forgot whatever he wanted to say. When the lack of oxygen forced them to part, Tsukki moved his lips down Kuroo's sharp jaw, down to his neck. His teeth scratched his jugular and he felt Kuroo stiffen under his body.

“Fuck…” he muttered, with a voice so deep Tsukki knew he was gonna dream about it.

Neither of them had been able to think clearly for a while. Tsukki felt something like hunger on his belly, but he knew it was coming from below the stomach. And, from the way Kuroo clung to the fabric of his shirt, it seemed like he felt it too. Their eyes met for an instant and Tsukki felt himself sinking into the darkness of his gaze. Kuroo kissed him again and Tsukki was completely lost. Before he knew it, Kuroo rolled over him and made him painfully aware of the weight of his body on top of his, feeling an electric stream ran up and down his spine with every touch. Unable to control his own body, he lifted his hips, seeking for friction. And he found it, oh boy did he found it.

“Tsukki” Kuroo moaned against his lips and he felt like dying.

His hands were running up and down Kuroo's back and one of them slipped under the fabric of his shirt, feeling his skin burn against his fingertips.

“ _Tsukki_ ” this time his name sounded more _urgen_ t on his lips, almost like a warning. Tsukki smiled and bit his lip, feeling Kuroo melt against his skin.

And, suddenly, stated raining.

Or so Tsukki thought, as he felt water running down the skin that was exposed under Kuroo’s weight.

“The fuck?” he managed to ask, when Kuroo got up a bit.

The buzzing metallic sound was what made him realise that no, it wasn’t rain: someone had turned on the sprinklers.

“Fuck my life” Kuroo complained, but a soft laugh escaped his lips.

“What are you doing?” Tsukki hissed, looking for his glasses on the grass. He tried to dry them with his t-shirt before putting them on, with Kuroo still sting on top of him. “Move, we’re gonna get soaked” he ordered, and Kuroo got op with a smirk on his face.

He held out a hand to help Tsukki get up and he took it, standing up just as a sprinkler spun and the stream of water hit them right in the face.

“Bloody hell” Tsukki grumbled, but when Kuroo burst out laughing he did too

☾

That night Tsukki barely managed to get any sleep. It may have something to do with the fact that he arrived to the room around two in the morning, with his clothes soaked and the taste of Kuroo's lips still on his. He went to bed without having dinner, but with a stomach full of nerves and something new. With puffy lips and a stupid smile that he couldn't erase from his mouth.

☾

**July 7th, 2012.**

Kuroo smirked as the rotation brought Tsukki to him. The blonde remained impassive, but he felt his entire body tense at Kuroo's proximity. It had been like that all day: every time their gazes met, Tsukki felt his stomach flip. And the worst part of it was the way Kuroo looked at him. He was discrete enough to do it without anyone noticing, but when he knew no one was looking Tsukki could feel his gaze fixed on him. Looking at him with an intensity that made him feel naked, as if Kuroo could see into his soul. He took a deep breath as Hinata served behind him, trying to focus solely on the match and not on the little reddish mark peeking out from under the collar of Kuroo's shirt.

Yaku received the ball without a problem, directing it towards Kenma. Tsukki followed Kuroo with his gaze as he drew back a bit but saw out of the corner of his eye how Taketora was moving as well. He had a second to decide. He moved to the right and jumped. When the volleyball hit the palm of his hand hard, his arm did not move, and the ball bounced back into the ground. On Nekoma’s side of the net. Taketora grunted at the block, but Tsukki was more aware of the half smile that peeked out of Kuroo's lips. A smile halfway between frustration and pride.

☾

The day was already beginning to fade between the mountains when they finished packing up and gathered at the entrance of the school. Voices filled the courtyard as the goodbyes that Tsukki watched from a distance followed one another.

"Tsukki!"

It was Bokuto's cheerful voice that caught his attention, giving him just enough time to react before the captain of the Fukurōdani's team pounced on him and squeezed him between his arms.

"Keep working hard, huh!" he said, when he released him, and Tsukki didn't know what to say.

"Bokuto-san, don't burden him."

As usual, it was Akaashi's calm voice the one who came to his rescue. The boy also approached to say his goodbyes, but instead of hugging him, he raised a fist for Tsukki to bump.

"It’s been a pleasure, Tsukishima-kun."

"Same" Tsukki replied, as he realized he really meant it.

Akaashi pulled off a tiny smile and stepped back a bit, revealing Kuroo behind him.

"Do I get a hug too?" he asked innocently, and Tsukki rolled his eyes.

"Guess I have no choice" he replied, but when Kuroo wrapped his arms around his waist he also hold him tight.

Bokuto and Akaashi had conveniently turned around, giving them some privacy. Tsukki didn't know if they were aware of what had happened between them the night before, but right now he didn't care.

"Hope to see you at nationals" Kuroo whispered, and his lips brushed Tsukki's neck.

"Well, someone’s gonna have to kick your ass."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you liked it.  
> Next chapter will cover up to Nationals, so it will have spoilers if you've only watched the anime.


End file.
